I feel like I’m changing the way that I handle breakups. Everyone tells me so many different things to do, and none of it seems to fit with what my heart/gut is saying. Go on Tinder. Don’t close yourself off from new lovers. Be angry at him. He’s the problem. The flip side is: Don’t blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. You’re an amazing woman (well, thank you!). You can find anybody.
I appreciate what everyone has to say, but I’m finding a balance in this. I’m not blaming myself. I’m not blaming him. He has his side. I have my side. Rather than being angry (and believe me, I am most definitely still hurting), I’m looking at how I handle myself. How I treat others. I’m looking at my patterns and recognizing where I’m toxic. I’m not blaming myself. I feel like blaming myself falls into the denial/desperation phase of grief where you are trying to reconcile the heartache by creating scenarios of how is could play out to your benefit.
At the end of the day, I just want my ex to be happy. I want him to thrive in his field of work. I want him to grow and explore all of the possibilities of what it means to be an artist in this industry. He is unique, caring, and talented. From the bottom of my heart, I genuinely want to see this man go places and to see him thrive.
And at the end of the day, I want the exact same things for me.